Accepting that I was powerless over people, places and things was a concept I rebelled against on almost every level in the beginning. Before recovery, I labored under the belief that I could not only control others (especially those I loved and cared for), but that it was my duty to do so. Despite the fact that it rarely worked, I stubbornly persisted, frustrating myself and irritating and alienating those I was trying to control - er, I mean help.
When I entered Al-Anon, I was told that the reason I had been unable to influence, help or control another was because I was in fact powerless over other people, places and things. "If that's true, then there is absolutely no hope for this situation!" I thought. Accepting this was contrary to everything I believed and meant complete defeat and sure ruin. What was I to do?
By working my program, I soon learned that surrendering to this powerlessness was actually the gateway to a new freedom. Once the untenable burden of controlling or fixing others was lifted, I was suddenly free to invest my energy where I did have some power and influence - over my own life. And that's when I realized I was no longer helpless to really fix my life and situation.
Today I understand and truly appreciate that I may be powerless, but I'm not helpless.
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