July 14, 2008

"IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR AN EASIER, SOFTER WAY, THERE ARE NO DIRECTIONS."

Before recovery there was only one way to do things - my way. I was convinced I had the answers, knew the way, and thought that life would be easy, and that I would be happy, if I just got my way. After years of bullying my way through my affairs and manipulating others to get what I wanted, I was finally brought to my knees and admitted defeat.

When I began working my program, I was told it was the easier, softer way, but it sure didn't feel like it at first. There were steps, and commitments, and honest inventories, and lots of feelings, and new ways of acting and interacting with others. In the beginning I rebelled mightily against this new way of life and often longed to - and sometimes did - revert back to old ways of thinking and acting. And each time I did, my life became unmanageable once again.



As I persevered and worked my steps, something miraculous happened - I changed. And as I changed, this new way of life actually began working for me, and after a while the steps and the principles of the program became the life manual I had always wanted and had been unsuccessfully trying to write for myself. 


One day I realized that I had found the easier, softer way, and now I had the directions I always had longed for.

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