February 26, 2008


I came into the program with so much fear. I didn't even know how much fear dominated my life because I used drugs, alcohol, food, sex, people, anything I could to hide from it. As I began to get clean and sober, the fear bubbled up to the surface of my life and quickly manifested itself as anger, rage, irritability, discomfort and depression. I was not a happy camper in early recovery.

What amazed me about the people who would share in meetings was how they were able to walk through real life stuff that I knew would devastate me if I was faced with it. Deaths of those near to them, losing jobs, houses, spouses, illnesses, suffering, pain, etc. "How do they deal with all this and stay sober?" I wondered. "Where do they get the strength to face all this with peace, dignity and courage?"

Today I know this courage comes from God. Today my fear has been replaced with faith in my Higher Power and I now know - from watching others and from my own experience of letting God lead me through my own difficulties - that I, too, can face life on life's terms and go through it all with peace, dignity and courage.

Today I know the truth in the saying, "If God leads you to it, He will lead you through it."

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